At the heart of Balanced & Brave is a simple truth: Children grow best when they feel safe, seen, and supported. When adults understand how the brain and nervous system really work, parenting becomes less about stopping outbursts and more about building relationships that help both parent and child feel connected.

Week 1: Felt Safety: Creating Emotional & Sensory Security

We began the series by unpacking one essential concept: Felt Safety. It’s one thing for a child to be safe, but it’s another for them to feel safe in their body and nervous system.

Families explored how tone of voice, posture, lighting, clutter, predictability, and even our facial expressions can send “you’re safe” or “you’re not safe” signals to a child’s brain. Instead of asking, “Why are they acting like this?” parents practiced shifting to, “What is my child’s brain or body needing right now?”

We also talked about the power of co-regulation—how children borrow the calm of a connected adult thousands of times before they can access calm on their own. Parents tried out simple supportive phrases such as, “This is hard, and I’m right here with you.” Small sensory tweaks, cozy spaces, flexible seating, and visual simplification gave families practical tools to take home right away.

Week 2: Sleep & Rhythm: Supporting Rest Through Connection

Almost every parent has struggled with their child’s sleep routine at one time or another. Families learned to pay attention to their child’s natural sleep window, to create bedtime rituals that feel loving instead of rushed, and to use movement, humor, music, and progressive relaxation to help kids wind down.

One of the most meaningful insights was that connection, not correction, is often what’s missing at bedtime. As one parent shared:

“Before, I felt like ‘What’s wrong with them?’ Now I’m wondering, ‘What’s going on for them?’ That shift alone has changed our evenings.”

Parents discovered that when adults slow their own pace, soften their voice, and make bedtime predictable, children settle much more easily. A regulated parent really does help create a regulated child.

Week 3: Temperament: Honoring the Unique Wiring of Each Child

Families were invited to look more deeply at temperament- the natural ways children experience the world from birth. We explored traits such as sensitivity, energy level, adaptability, intensity, and approach or withdrawal tendencies.

Instead of thinking of these traits as “good” or “bad,” families learned to see them as valuable information and ask a new question: How do my temperament traits and my child’s traits work together or bump into each other?

Through worksheets and conversations, parents mapped out both their own and their child’s temperament, noting where things flow smoothly and where friction tends to appear. The room was full of respect and relief. Temperament isn’t something to fix – it’s something to honor. Families shared strategies that made an immediate difference:

• Offering choices for kids who struggle with transitions
• Creating cozy, quiet spaces for slower-to-warm children
• Building movement breaks into the day for high-energy kids
• Using gentle warnings and predictable routines for kids who depend on structure
• Supporting sensitive kids with sensory-friendly environments

Understanding temperament helped parents see their kids and themselves with so much more compassion.

Week 4: Co-Regulation → Self-Regulation — The Long-Term Vision

Our final session tied everything together by exploring how children develop self-regulation over time by being co-regulated thousands and thousands of times. In other words, co-regulation is the “training wheels” for emotional independence. Kids don’t learn to regulate simply by being told to “calm down.” They learn by watching safe adults:

• Name their feelings
• Notice body sensations
• Use breath, movement, or grounding tools
• Repair after ruptures or disagreements

Parents practiced simple scripts such as:
“I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take three slow breaths before I respond.”

Families then created their own Family Regulation Toolkits, filled with calming routines, sensory tools, emotional check-ins, and playful co-regulation strategies that fit their home and their child. We emphasized that regulation isn’t just a moment. It’s a rhythm created through repeated connection: shared breaths, inside jokes, rituals, movement breaks, or quiet presence.

By the end of the night, families had both practical tools and a reassuring reminder: self-regulation is absorbed through connection, not taught through lectures.

Throughout our time together, families consistently shared how transformative these small shifts felt.  They experienced less judgment and more curiosity, less tension and more connection.

Balanced & Brave gently reminds caregivers:

• Your child is not “too much.”
• You’re not doing it wrong.
• You’re doing something brave every time you choose connection over control.

By understanding temperament, respecting sensory needs, prioritizing felt safety, and practicing co-regulation, families are building strong foundations for emotional health and resilience, now and into the future.

What’s Next?

The next four-week Balanced & Brave series will begin in late January. Recorded sessions from this fall are also available through the Encompass Online Learning System. To request access, please email megan.walsh@encompassnw.org.

The post Balanced & Brave: Growing Connection Through Brain-Based Parenting first appeared on Encompass.

Over the course of an hour, a multidisciplinary team of mental health, occupational therapy, and speech therapy professionals guided kids through a series of playful, skill-building activities, all wrapped in Halloween magic.

The session began with a “Halloween Feelings Check-In,” where kids chose from a pumpkin face that matched how they felt.  Some kids reported they were silly, excited, or maybe a little nervous. Together, they learned that all feelings are okay and that Halloween can be both fun and a little scary sometimes.

Next, the Speech Therapy team helped children practice communication skills for trick-or-treating. Whether through verbal words, AAC (alternative and augmentive communication) buttons, or sign language, every child found their own way to say “Happy Halloween”, “Trick or treat!” and “Thank you!” A parent shared afterward, “My child said that they learned different ways to get trick or treats, and they seemed to feel more excited and less stressed about the events.”

In the Candy Dish Challenge, occupational therapists turned a favorite Halloween moment into a sensory adventure.  Kids reached into a bag filled with unknown things to pick out treats, practicing fine motor skills and self-control along the way.

The group then took on the “Spooky Decorations Walk,” exploring different levels of Halloween spookiness while learning coping strategies like deep breathing, grounding through the five senses, and checking in with a trusted adult when things felt “too spooky.”

The session ended in a joyful Halloween Parade, where children showed off costumes, practiced their new skills by trick-or-treating around the Encompass office, and reflected on one thing they felt confident doing this Halloween.

Confidence Camp: Halloween Edition reminded families that every child can shine on Halloween when they have the tools to communicate, self-regulate, and set boundaries. Most importantly, it created space for kids to celebrate exactly who they are.

The post Building Bravery and Belonging at Confidence Camp: Halloween Edition first appeared on Encompass.

In response, the Encompass Pediatric Therapy team put their heads together to create Confidence Camp: Back to School Edition. Meeting the week before school started, this interactive group therapy adventure had a big impact on our kids! Over five sessions, children worked with 19 therapists from Mental Health, Speech Therapy, and Occupational Therapy, each contributing to an immersive, fun, and effective experience. The camp was carefully designed to help kids not only build emotional resilience but also equip them with the skills needed for a smoother transition into school.

Here’s a glimpse into their journey:

Session 1: Saying Goodbye to Summer & Preparing for Change
The camp kicked off by helping kids reflect on the joys of summer, while gently preparing them for the changes ahead. Through art, story-sharing, and emotional recognition exercises, kids were encouraged to identify and label their feelings, whether excited, nervous, or sad. Therapists supported them in expressing these emotions, fostering an environment of comfort and understanding. Sensory tools and relaxation techniques were also introduced to help kids manage their anxieties and feel grounded when things change.

Session 2: Back-to-School Routines
Next, it was all about routines! Kids practiced structuring their mornings and evenings using visual schedules, which helped them understand the predictability of their day. The group engaged in games and social stories that focused on creating structure, learning how to manage transitions, and navigating unexpected changes. All of these are skills they’ll carry with them throughout the school year. Each camper took home their own personalized visual schedule.

Session 3: Friendship & Communication Skills
Making friends and communicating effectively can sometimes be tricky. This session offered playful ways to build confidence. The kids participated in activities like Friendship Bingo and role-playing scenarios, practicing conversation starters, and learning how to cooperate during group activities. Therapists worked on social initiation, choices, turn-taking, and empathetic listening, helping kids feel more comfortable approaching and connecting with their peers. Several kids reported that their favorite part of camp was “making friends”!

Session 4: Coping with Worry & Big Feelings
This session was all about empowering kids to manage their emotions and face worries head-on. The children created their own “worry monsters” to help externalize their anxieties. Therapists introduced calming tools such as breathing exercises, fidget toys, and grounding techniques to help children regulate their emotions. They also practiced identifying and expressing their feelings, which is an essential skill for emotional health.

Session 5: Problem-Solving at School
Finally, the kids explored how to tackle problems that may arise in school, whether it’s a lost pencil or a friend who’s upset with you. Through role-playing and hands-on challenges, such as organizing a messy table of school supplies, kids learned how to use problem-solving frameworks and manage stress during overwhelming situations. The camp wrapped up with kids taking home their own coping cards to remember how to handle challenges in the future.

We are proud of how this collaborative approach from multiple disciplines created such a lasting impact on Encompass kids. From the tactile sensory supports provided by our occupational therapists to the communication strategies from our speech therapists, or the emotional validation from our mental health therapists, every part of camp helped build well-rounded emotional resilience. We’re excited to offer more topic-based Confidence Camps in the future, allowing kids to continue to grow emotionally, socially, and physically, as they become more confident in managing life’s challenges.

Next Up: Confidence Camp: Halloween Edition

Get ready for a spooktacular time at Confidence Camp: Halloween Edition!

Join us on October 30th from 4:15-5:15 pm, or October 31st from 2:00-3:00 pm, for a fun-filled group therapy session focused on boosting confidence through Halloween-themed activities. Whether it’s practicing relational skills, building self-esteem, or mastering the art of the perfect costume compliment, your child will leave feeling ready to take on the world.

After the session, we’ll have a practice Trick or Treating session at the Encompass Child Development Center, where kids can apply their newfound confidence in a safe, festive environment. Don’t miss out on this fun, confidence-boosting therapeutic adventure and register quickly, as spots will be limited!

Learn more or register: https://bit.ly/3I3dJFe

The post Confidence Camp: Back-to-School Edition first appeared on Encompass.

The Impact of Community Stress and Changes in Routine on Kids’ Nervous Systems During Summer Break

As the school year comes to a close and summer vacation begins, many families experience a significant shift in their daily routines. While the prospect of summer freedom is exciting, it can also bring intense challenges that might impact young children’s emotional and physical well-being. The changes in structure, combined with heightened community stress, can trigger responses in our nervous systems that often lead to anxiety, irritability, or mood fluctuations.

Community stressors, like ongoing social or political tensions and the abrupt shift from a structured school day to a less predictable summer schedule, can overwhelm kids’ nervous systems. When the brain senses uncertainty or disruption in routine, it can activate the fight or flight response, making it harder for anyone to regulate their emotions. Kids, and even adults, might act out, become withdrawn, or show signs of stress in unexpected ways.

Instead of responding to these behaviors with punitive measures, it’s important for parents and caregivers to focus on soothing the nervous system. Connection-based strategies are a gentle way to support children through this transition, helping them feel safe and secure despite the changes around them. Here are six connection-focused tips for parents and caregivers to try when things are difficult:

1. Create Predictable Routines

Children thrive on consistency, and the sudden lack of school schedules can create uncertainty. Set simple, predictable routines for daily activities like mealtimes, playtime, and bedtime. Knowing what to expect can help children feel more secure and reduce stress on their nervous system. Even if every day is a little different, building small rituals like affirmations or a funny handshake into every morning can help kids experience something expected.

2. Engage in Calming Activities Together

Physical touch, mindfulness exercises, or activities that engage the senses can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for relaxation. Try deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, or gentle activities like coloring or playing outside in nature. Engage in these activities with your child to foster a sense of connection and safety. When kids see their favorite adult doing something, they are much more likely to give it a try.

3. Practice Active Listening

When people feel stressed, they need to feel heard. Instead of immediately offering solutions and moving quickly to problem-solving, try to listen attentively to your child’s concerns. Use empathetic phrases like, “It sounds like you’re feeling upset because things are different than last week,” and validate their emotions by saying things like, “I’d probably feel confused about that too!”. This not only helps them process their feelings but also reinforces the trust and connection between you and your child.  When people feel heard and see that we aren’t dismissing their worries, they automatically begin to relax into the safety of the relationship.

4. Model Calmness and Emotional Regulation

Many kids are highly attuned to their caregivers’ emotional states. When you model calmness, even in stressful situations, children learn how to regulate their own emotions.  The key here is authenticity.  ‘Faking it till you make it’ won’t work well with coregulation.   Practice taking deep breaths, pausing before reacting, and naming your emotions (“I feel frustrated right now, but I’m going to take a moment to calm down.”).  Acknowledging your feelings and showing your child how you are working through them will help them recognize that feelings are temporary and not something to be afraid of.

5. Offer Simple Choices to Empower Kids

When routines change, people can feel a loss of control. Giving them small, manageable choices throughout the day, like what shirt to wear, which crunchy snack to eat, or what fun activity to do, will help them feel more at ease and less reactive. This can reduce feelings of stress and frustration, allowing their nervous system to feel more balanced.

6. Offer Redos Consistently

When routines are changing and kids are trying new things, they are going to mess up.  They are going to be extra grumpy sometimes or more impulsive at other times.  Try not to react and instead get curious about what might be going on underneath the behavior.  We’ve all had moments when we say or do something we wish we hadn’t when we are feeling stressed.  Give your child the gift of a second or even third chance to try that again without a harsh response.  We all need that from time to time.

By focusing on connection and offering soothing, supportive strategies, parents and caregivers can help their children navigate the emotional challenges of summer break with greater ease. A calm and predictable environment provides the stability children need to process their emotions and stay grounded, no matter how much their world may be shifting.  If you or your child needs a little more support, please reach out to Encompass.  We are here to help.

The post 6 Tips to Help Kids Navigate Uncertain Times first appeared on Encompass.

At Sensory Adventures Camp, children aged 5-8 who may not thrive in typical camp environments are given a safe, supportive, and therapeutic space to be seen, heard, and valued. Our pediatric therapy team understands the significance of meeting children where they are emotionally and developmentally. Many traditional camps simply aren’t equipped to provide the individualized support that children with mental health, speech, or occupational challenges need.

This is where Sensory Adventures Camp stands out. With a foundation built on Trust-Based Relational Interventions (TBRI) and DIR Floortime, this camp offers an approach that is not only trauma-informed but intensely focused on supporting children’s developmental needs. The program is thoughtfully designed to support children in managing emotions, developing social skills, and improving communication. Our dedicated therapists create a nurturing environment that honors each child’s unique sensory needs and emotional journeys and will integrate one-on-one therapeutic support throughout the camp day:

• Mental health therapists will help children build and practice emotional regulation skills, learn to advocate for their own needs, and develop trust in safe adults.
• Occupational therapists will support children in navigating their sensory experiences and improving their ability to regulate.
• Speech therapists will guide children in enhancing their communication skills, focusing on peer interactions and functional communication.

This multidisciplinary approach ensures every child’s unique needs are met while they enjoy fun, hands-on learning that emphasizes play, creativity, and connection.

Understanding Physical Cues

One of the most exciting parts of Sensory Adventures Camp is the focus on interoception (the ability to recognize and interpret the signals our bodies send us). For many people, understanding physical sensations like hunger, tiredness, or anxiety can be challenging. Children will learn and practice how to identify and respond to these sensations, which will help them build self-awareness and emotional regulation.

Peer Interaction

Peer communication will be a major focus of camp. Through structured play and small group interactions, children will practice and improve their social communication skills in a low-pressure/low-demand, supportive environment. Group interactions will be based on shared special interests so that kids aren’t trying to connect with peers or activities they don’t find interesting.  Learning to connect with peers, express emotional and physical needs, and understand relational cues is essential, but can be difficult. By focusing on these skills in a calm, structured environment, Sensory Adventures provides a foundation for future social authenticity.

Self-Advocacy

Another key part of the camp’s mission is to teach children how to advocate for themselves. Whether asking for a break when they’re feeling overwhelmed, requesting sensory tools, or simply expressing a need, learning to communicate needs effectively is an important skill for all children, especially those with neurodiverse profiles.  When kids can advocate for themselves either verbally or through Augmentative and Alternative Communication (AAC) devices, their levels of frustration and aggression decrease significantly.

Trusted Relationships

The Sensory Adventures Camp is led by a trauma-informed educator who understands the importance of building trust before attempting learning activities. Many of the children who attend camp may have experienced trauma or struggle with anxiety, so having a safe adult who can connect with them through playful interactions and guide them through challenging moments is essential. This trust-building aspect is a cornerstone of Sensory Adventures Camp, ensuring that every child feels supported, seen, and heard throughout their time at camp.

Play!

At Sensory Adventures Camp, the learning process is grounded in hands-on play and curiosity-driven exploration. We know that children learn best when they are engaged and excited, so each day is filled with opportunities for kids to explore, create, and discover. Whether they are playing in sensory-rich activities or engaging in imaginative group play, the goal is always to spark curiosity, build a love for learning, and create memories of feeling connected with others that will stay with them long after camp ends.

By incorporating play-based therapies into the daily routine, kids are given the chance to practice real-world skills in a safe environment. Play is THE work of childhood, and we firmly believe that through play, children can express themselves, develop essential relationship skills, and experience joy.

Ultimately, Sensory Adventures isn’t just a summer camp. It’s a carefully crafted therapeutic experience designed to meet the unique needs of neurodiverse children in a way that traditional camps simply can’t. By integrating trauma-informed care, interoception practices, and peer communication skill-building into each day, this camp offers more than just play; it offers a chance for children to feel seen, heard, and supported. If your child is looking for a place to grow, learn, and explore, without the pressures of a traditional camp, this is the perfect place. Give your child the gift of a summer filled with support, understanding, and fun that could make a lasting difference in their emotional, social, and developmental growth.

Details About Encompass Sensory Adventures Camp

Ages: 5-8 years old

Dates: Monday-Thursday, August 4 – August 14, 2025; 9:00 am-1:00 pm

Cost: $1,500 for the full two-week program

Location: Encompass Early Learning Center on Boalch Ave.

Program Includes: Occupational therapy, speech therapy, and mental health therapy integrated throughout the day (Therapy will be billed to insurance).

Registration: https://bit.ly/4jGVFi5

For more information, please reach out to Megan Walsh, Encompass Mental Health Director, at megan.walsh@encompassnw.org

The post Sensory Adventures: The Therapeutic Summer Day Camp Your Child Deserves first appeared on Encompass.

If you believe social media, the holiday season is painted with spotless images of peaceful cozy moments – gourmet food, tastefully decorated trees, beautiful candles, or abundant joy. While it can be a special time, it can also be a period of stifled emotions and stress for young children and their grownups. Routine changes, extra events, increased family time, and expectations often create pressure that isn’t visible or acknowledged. Understanding the individual and family stressors that impact kids can help us be more proactive and make this time a more gentle experience for everyone.

Stressor: Overstimulating Environments
Holiday events can be overwhelming with twinkling lights, music, crowds, and unexpected activity. This is particularly true for kids (and grownups) with sensory sensitivities.

Suggestions:
Give yourself and your kids permission to take breaks. If you drive to an event, the backseat of your car might be the perfect little retreat to snuggle up and breathe for a bit. Noise-canceling headphones or sunglasses can be a welcome tool for a child struggling with lights and sounds. For some kids, a quiet corner with a special book or their favorite fidget toy can help them recharge and then rejoin the “fun”. If you’re hosting in your home, you may be surprised by how many people appreciate a designated space where kids can go to relax if needed.

Stressor: Changes in Routine
A departure from normal routines is commonplace at this time of year. Sleep schedule interruptions, different mealtimes, and school or daycare closures can lead to everyone feeling out of control and grasping to regain it any way they can.

Suggestions:
Try to maintain as much routine as possible. For example, keep bedtime consistent and avoid last-minute changes. If you are traveling or attending special events, give your child a “heads-up” on what things may be like so that they know what to expect. If staying somewhere unfamiliar, bring familiar items like blankets or stuffed animals to help recreate a sense of home. Make sure that everyone is hydrated and has frequent protein snacks to help reduce issues with mood fluctuations.

Stressor: Gift Overload
While it may be true that many kids love receiving presents, the sheer number of gifts can be overwhelming. Gift-giving and receiving can also be uncomfortable for many people. It can feel vulnerable to accept gifts, and it can be anxiety-provoking to respond in the way the gift giver expects.

Suggestions:
Consider talking to friends and relatives about reducing the number of gifts or opting for fun memory-making experiences. Help kids learn how to respond to presents by wrapping silly things you find around the house (think cheese grater, remote control, spoon/fork). Take turns unwrapping the gift, thanking the giver, and identifying one true thing about the gift. For example, “Wow, a remote control! Thank you. I love to change the channels.” The sillier you make it, the more you help kids disengage from anxious feelings and expectations.

Stressor: Unfamiliar Social Situations
Holiday gatherings bring together many people you don’t see on a regular basis. While some people enjoy big festive gatherings, they can feel exhausting to others. Many people have expectations around behavior and traditions during family gatherings that create anxiety due to miscommunications or unspoken rules.

Suggestions:
Prepare your child for social interactions in advance and give them an out if needed. Before attending a party or gathering, talk about who might be there and who they might spend time with. Role-playing or reading books about social situations can help reduce stressful feelings and anticipation. Rather than forcing interactions, allow your child time to warm up and decide who they hug/kiss. When we respect their emotional and physical boundaries, we teach them a lot about consent and advocating for themselves. Having an alternate way of interacting with a script can be helpful. Saying something like, “Do you want to give your uncle a fist bump or a high five to say hello?” can help everyone feel more comfortable.

Stressor: Lack of Time for Play
Every year, it seems like time goes faster with gift shopping, holiday decorating, and special events. With such full schedules, it’s easy to forget that we all need time to be playful. Play not only helps kids learn and make sense of the world, it’s also necessary for emotional regulation and physical exertion.

Suggestions:
Whenever you can, add some playfulness into holiday traditions. Things don’t have to be serious to be infused with meaning and memories. Give yourself grace and self-compassion. It’s likely that you are doing your best and that perfection isn’t what your kids are hoping for. Be realistic about expectations, partner with friends or family members to complete tasks, and make room for the imperfections that make you and your family unique. You may find that the memories your kids will cherish the most will be the times things didn’t work out as planned.

Holidays can be a beautiful mix of togetherness and tradition, and they can also be a season of stress and big feelings. By proactively exploring what makes you and your kids stressed during this time of year, you can build traditions that fit your needs. Plan for the child and family you actually have rather than the one you see on social media. Releasing yourself and your kids from the competitive part of the season can go a long way toward creating memories filled with connection, joy, and wonder.

The post The Hidden Stressors of the Season first appeared on Encompass.

This shift is more than just a name change. It reflects our deep and enduring commitment to fostering connection and emotional healing for the children and families we serve. The term “behavioral health” places an emphasis on behavior management, which can overlook the underlying emotional needs and relational aspects of mental well-being. By selecting “Mental Health,” we highlight our focus on building strong connections and understanding the whole child.

Our vision at Encompass is a community where ALL children thrive. We believe that strong relationships are essential for emotional healing and well-being.

Our dedicated mental health clinicians work tirelessly to create a warm, supportive environment where all kids feel safe to explore their feelings, develop self-worth, and blossom in their relationships. Beyond addressing behaviors, we provide a space where children can find their voice and share without fear. By nurturing a deeper understanding of their feelings and needs, we guide them in expressing themselves in healthier ways, fostering trust and encouraging authentic communication.

We also want to help parents/caregivers focus on being curious about behaviors and what’s behind them so that the child and parent can feel understood and valued within that crucial relationship.

The idea of empowerment is a vital part of our approach. We believe that everyone deserves to shine in their own way. We have also found that when kids can advocate for their needs and feel seen, heard, and valued, they don’t have to resort to challenging behaviors to communicate. When the focus is on connection, shared understanding, and safety, behaviors will change, and even more importantly, emotional and relational healing can occur.

As we transition to our new name, we are excited to continue our mission with renewed energy and purpose. We invite you to join us on this journey as we work together to support Snoqualmie Valley children and families in navigating their individual and collective paths toward mental wellness. With every connection we build, we help create a stronger, more compassionate community where ALL children can thrive.

The post Behavioral Health is Now Mental Health first appeared on Encompass.

Here are some strategies to help guide these important conversations:

First, ask about what they know or have heard. This will likely be very informative. You could learn that they have a pretty full understanding of what has happened, or you might discover that they completely misunderstand what has happened, what could happen, and the implications. You might learn that your child is hearing some really scary things from friends and neighbors or rumors from peers. Maybe they’ve overheard adult conversations or a media clip and jumped to some conclusions. Whatever you hear when you ask what they know will set the stage for what you address next. If you start to refute their thoughts or beliefs too quickly, they may shut down and stop telling you what they are thinking, so make sure you hear them out completely. Try to be patient and not react too strongly to what they say.  You can respond with simple statements like, “Wow,” or “That’s interesting,” while you are gathering information.

Normalize feelings. When your child shares their thoughts, ask them how the thought makes them feel and let them know that you can understand that response and you’ve felt that way before too. Don’t belittle or minimize their feelings even if they don’t make sense to you. You can say things like, “You feel sad and worried that something like that could happen to you or someone you love. I worried about that today too.  When I felt worried, I talked to my friends and went for a walk. What did you do when you felt that way?”

Empower them with honest responses and share the steps being taken to protect them. When discussing complex topics, it’s important to use age-appropriate language. Young children may not grasp abstract concepts, so break down information into simple, clear terms. Instead of discussing domestic violence or shootings directly, you might frame things in terms of feelings and safety. For instance, you could say something like, “Sometimes, people have arguments, but they shouldn’t hurt each other. It is important to me that you feel safe at home.” You might explain that safe grown-ups are working together to keep them safe through changing laws and increasing public awareness of the causes of situations like this.  Let them know what you have committed to do that works towards safety and promotes mental health support.  Help them move toward being proactive by creating a plan for sharing their feelings and letting them know what you are doing to keep them safe.

Help them feel heard. A powerful technique to help kids know you are listening is to repeat back what you heard them say: “You’re feeling angry because kids should be safe in their own home.” “You’re feeling disappointed because people shouldn’t hurt each other.” An added benefit of this technique is that it is also helpful to use when you aren’t sure of what to say. All people want to feel heard and sometimes there just isn’t anything you can say to help them feel better.  Repeating back indicates you are listening, and you care about your child’s perspective. It also can encourage your child to keep opening up which will give you a chance to connect and support your child in a variety of difficult situations.

Keep checking in. Stay attuned to your child. Ask about their thoughts and what they’ve heard. Ask how they are feeling. You can talk about your feelings too. Remember that feelings are okay, so we don’t want to tell kids not to feel a certain way. For example, if your child identifies that they feel scared, instead of saying, “Oh, don’t feel scared,” or “There’s nothing to be afraid of,” maybe ask why they feel scared, or what is most scary. You can validate your child’s emotions by sharing how you feel and helping them understand that feelings come and go.

Let your child lead. Just as some adults thrive by watching every newscast and some need to turn off the constant buzz, some kids will need more assurance, information, and support, and others will seem unfazed. It’s important to bring up the topic with kids and then be watchful. Watch their behaviors, listen to their words, notice any changes in eating or sleeping patterns, and respond with more nurturing discussions when needed.

If you see unexpected behaviors, consider they may be coming from a place of fear. When a child does something you don’t want them to be doing, it can be helpful to wonder (both aloud and in your mind) what they hoped would happen when they did whatever it was. Sometimes when we feel stressed and anxious, we can lose access to our usual coping mechanisms and behave in ways we normally wouldn’t. It can help a child open up if we say things like, “Some kids are feeling worried right now, and when I feel worried, it helps me to talk to a friend wrap up in a cozy blanket, or dance to some fun music.”

Notice and identify anxious feelings early. As you’re watching the news or talking about this issue, you may notice that you start to feel tightness in your chest or discomfort in your stomach. That is your body’s way of letting you know you are becoming anxious. Being mindful of your own stress responses can help you choose a calming technique early. Similarly, observe your child for early signs of stress or anxiety. Is your child starting to speak quickly? Become hyperactive? Become extra fussy? These are all signs that your child could use your help calming their nervous system. Recognize and name the feeling, and then choose a calming strategy, such as taking deep breaths, lying upside down, drinking water, or physical activity (dance party!). It’s important for your child to watch you handle your big feelings in healthy ways.

As adults, we are tasked with managing our own feelings while allowing our kids to experience and share their emotions.  This can be really challenging for anyone and can be almost impossible without support.  The Encompass team is available to support you as you navigate this tragic situation.  If you or your young child needs additional support, please reach out at 425.888.3347.

Additional Resources:

Sesame Street in Communities: Traumatic Experiences

PBS for Parents: Helping Kids with Traumatic Events in the News

The post When Tragedy Hits Close to Home: Tips for Talking with Your Kids first appeared on Encompass.

• Connection
• Activities that lower anxiety
• Accept and name emotions

Connection

Connection is at the heart of a successful back-to-school transition. Feeling supported and understood can ease anxiety and set a positive tone for the school year. Encourage honest conversations about the upcoming school year with open-ended questions: “What are you most excited about?” and “What are you worried about?” Listen actively without jumping to solutions. If you aren’t sure how to respond during the conversation, remember that coregulation is NEVER the wrong answer.  Warm, welcoming, nurturing interactions should not be a reward. They should be the rule.

For some kids, questions can feel overwhelming, so I often wonder out loud instead of asking questions.  Saying something like, “Some kids feel excited about school and some kids feel nervous” can allow a child to ponder the topic without feeling pressure to answer “the right way”.

Offer your own back-to-school experiences, both the good and the challenging.  Sharing stories from your childhood school days can help kids feel less alone and more understood. It’s a great way to bridge generational gaps and build empathy. You can build the discussion into mealtimes or car rides and share stories about what you enjoyed about school and what was hard for you.  Kids feel connected and will more easily share their feelings if they know it’s okay to struggle a bit.  These discussions can also give you a window into areas where you can focus support throughout the school year.

Establishing consistent routines or rituals can deeply strengthen the sense of connection between kids and their grownups. Whether it’s a special breakfast before the first day or a nightly check-in about the highs and lows of the day, these small acts of togetherness can make the transition feel more manageable.  If you can add in some music or movement, you get bonus points for nervous system regulation too!

Try using declarative language techniques.  Declarative language involves making small changes in the way we communicate with others.  Some kids (and adults) get overwhelmed when they are told to do something or are asked lots of questions.  The pressure to answer or behave correctly feels high, so they may shut down emotionally or escalate behaviorally.  Declarative language notices what works for an individual’s nervous system and uses thinking out loud statements like, “You can walk to the car,” or “I can tie your shoes,” or problem solves out loud like, “I forgot my lunch yesterday so today I’m going to put it next to the door”.

Wonder statements work here as well. “I wonder what would happen if we walked outside in the rain without shoes,” or “I wonder which of us can get to the car first.”   Phrasing things in this way helps reduce a child’s need to dig their heels in and provides them with gentle guidance toward the task at hand.

Describing your own feelings about a stressful situation can help put a name to a feeling and normalize the experience for kids.  I will often say things like, “When I go to new places, I get nervous.  Lots of the people I know feel anxious sometimes.  For some people, it can feel like butterflies in your tummy or like your heart is beating fast.”  By not directly asking the child if they feel anxious, I am leaving the door open for a shared experience without making them feel like they are being accused of feeling something.  The Declarative Language Handbook by Linda K. Murphy is a helpful guide to understanding more about why these little tweaks to our communication can be so powerful.

Activities That Lower Anxiety

A little back-to-school preparation goes a long way. Help your child get organized with supplies and a clear understanding of their schedule. A visit to the school or a meet-and-greet with the new teacher or office staff can help ease first-day jitters.

Practice opening food packaging. Food products such as string cheese, yogurt, individual snack packages, and milk cartons can be challenging. Schools usually have staff available to help but some kids feel worried about having enough time to eat at lunchtime.  Make it fun and go on a picnic with their lunch fully packed just like it will be for school.

Re-establish a school-year routine before school starts. Gradually shift bedtimes and wake-up times to align with the school schedule and introduce some of the school day’s structure into your current summer routine.  Teach your kids a few simple relaxation techniques like deep breathing or mindfulness exercises. These tools can be handy during stressful moments and help manage anxiety effectively but need to be practiced routinely to be accessible.

Use social stories to help kids understand and navigate new or challenging situations. These short, personalized narratives describe social situations, possible expectations and feelings, possible challenges, and problem-solving in a clear and relatable way. They can be particularly useful for students who may need extra support in adjusting to new environments or routines.

Often, I’ll ask kids “What is the easiest thing about school and what is the hardest?”  After celebrating the easy and commiserating the hard, we work together to create a social story about the hard part.

To create a social story for your child, start by identifying the specific situation or behavior that may be causing concern. If your kiddo is anxious about lunchtime, a social story might outline what lunchtime will look like, who will be present, and the steps involved in getting their lunch.  Maybe help them imagine the best-case scenario and how they’d handle that, and then look at the worst-case scenario and options for how to handle it.  Discuss who can be a support or a comfort in that moment and space.  Keep the language simple and the tone positive.  Older kids can write it out and younger kids love to narrate while their grown up does the writing.  Drawings or photos can enhance the story and make it more interesting and personalized for kids. The goal is to present the information in a way that is easy to understand and provides reassurance and choices.  After it’s done, review the story often to help the child incorporate the ideas for later use.

For example:

Title:  Going to the Lunchroom for Lunch

Story:

When it is time for lunch, I will walk with my class to the cafeteria.  If I need more space in line or people feel too close, I can ask my teacher to let me be in the back.

I will stand in line and wait for my turn.  I might be able to have a fidget in my pocket to keep my hands busy while I wait.  I can sing a song in my head until I get to the front of the line.

I can choose what I want to eat from the options that are there.  If I don’t like anything, I can remind myself about the protein bar in my backpack and ask my teacher if I can get it.

I will sit with Abbie and Delia at the lunch table.  If there isn’t space, I can sit at the next table and play with my friends after I eat.

After lunch, I will throw away my trash and recycling, and go outside.  If it’s raining, I can wear my hood or play under the shelter. 

The bell will ring to let me know when to go back inside.

Social stories help demystify new experiences and can significantly reduce feelings of anxiety by providing a clear and structured overview of what to expect along with options for how to handle challenges.

Focus on felt safety.  Felt safety is a sense of emotional and psychological well-being, where a person perceives their environment as comfortable, secure, and free from potential harm or threats. It is a subjective feeling of safety that can vary from person to person.  There is a strong link between student stress, consistent attendance, and academic performance.  Students struggle to pay attention, complete assignments, and interact with peers and teachers in healthy ways when they feel unsafe or stressed.  In addition, when even one person in the room is feeling highly stressed, other people in the room will start to match their stress levels.

Lack of felt safety looks different for everyone but common signs are expressions of anger, impulsive movements, tense body, and appearing zoned out or blank-faced.  The most common reason behind emotional and physical dysregulation is not feeling safe in the environment, and it often has nothing to do with actual physical safety. Just because WE know/think a child is safe doesn’t mean they are experiencing the world that way.  Adding in things that signal safety to a child can go a long way toward preparing them for learning.  It’s important to help kids recognize the people who will keep them safe and the places they can go if they don’t feel safe. Understanding the sensory sensitivities that might impact them and what they can do to manage them helps signal safety to young brains and bodies.

Accept and Name Emotions

Understanding and naming our emotions is crucial for managing them effectively. When kids can identify and articulate their feelings, they’re better equipped to deal with them. It’s important to remember that ALL feelings are allowed.  Kids can’t learn to manage emotions they aren’t allowed to have.  Validate your child’s feelings by acknowledging them without judgment. Instead of dismissing worries with “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine,” try, “I can understand that you’re feeling nervous about the new school year. It’s okay to feel that way. I might feel that way too.” Help kids learn to name their emotions by using descriptive language. Phrases like “It sounds like you’re feeling anxious about meeting new friends” or “I can see you’re excited about your new teacher” can help children recognize and articulate their feelings. For younger children or those who find verbal expression challenging, drawing or journaling can be effective ways to explore and communicate emotions. Encourage them to keep a journal or draw pictures about their day or their feelings.  It’s even better if they can see you express yourself through writing or art!

The back-to-school transition is an opportunity to strengthen connections, manage anxiety, and understand emotions better. By focusing on these principles, you can create a supportive environment that fosters a smooth and positive start to the school year. Remember, each child’s experience is unique, and flexibility is key. Approaching this transition with empathy and preparation can help turn the beginning of the school year into a time of growth and excitement. Here’s to a fantastic school year ahead!

Helpful Resources

Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors: Brain-Body-Sensory Strategies that Really Work by Robyn Gobbel

The Declarative Language Handbook by Linda K. Murphy

Beyond Behaviors by Mona Delahooke

Regulation & Coregulation: 15-minute Focus by Ginger Healy

The post Planning for Back-to-School Transition first appeared on Encompass.

This brilliant movie showcases an emotional journey through the inner workings of Riley’s mind as she navigates the complex emotions we all experience when moving through childhood. As a mental health therapist for kids and families, I was thrilled to see the portrayal of the different stages of life through the perspective of emotional development.  Riley moves from early childhood experiences with core emotions (joy, sadness, anger, fear, and disgust) to navigating more complex feelings like anxiety, ennui (boredom), envy, and embarrassment.  Inside Out 2 does a wonderful job of normalizing a range of feelings without villainizing any of them.

In my work with families and with my own kids, it’s so important for adults to encourage and allow kids to experience a full range of emotions so that they (and we) can experience moving through them in healthy ways.  Kids can’t be expected to appropriately manage feelings they aren’t allowed to have.  Riley quickly moves from feeling to feeling in a way that will help kids feel comfortable with the emotional fluctuations that happen as we grow.  So often, kids start to worry that other people aren’t feeling the same way they do and that results in a feeling of isolation and loneliness.  Those feelings can cascade into mistaken beliefs about their worth and ability to love and be loved.

The overall message that every emotion, even the difficult ones, is vital to our development and growth, will have a positive impact on kids.  Many of the kids we see in therapy struggle to acknowledge and identify challenging feelings because they’ve absorbed the message that their feelings are too big, too scary, or too overwhelming.  Helping kids understand that every single emotion has its function and contributes to healthy growth and development is key to raising empowered kids who can navigate life’s challenges with resilience.  In addition, the message that reaching out to safe friends and family members for support as a positive coping strategy cannot be oversold.  Healthy kids need healthy connections to thrive.

Starting a conversation about emotions can sometimes feel awkward, but the more you practice, the easier it will be.  I’ve noticed that asking questions will cause kids to get overwhelmed and shut down, so I will often wonder out loud instead of peppering a child with questions.  Saying something like, “Oh boy, that isn’t what I meant to say. I think Anxiety was in charge there; let me try that again,” or “I sometimes feel like the embarrassment character. I wonder which one felt most like you.” can go a long way toward a child feeling invited to a chat instead of being tested to pick the right answer.  I also find that car chats where kids aren’t expected to make consistent eye contact often lead to more openness and vulnerability.  The biggest tip I can offer is to respond with curiosity, kindness, and empathy to whatever emotion your kids express.  Every emotion is valid even when we want to shift the behaviors that are sometimes used to express them.

I watched this movie with my 80-year-old parents and 17-year-old teenager, and we all laughed, a few of us cried, and we all left the theatre feeling excited about the focus on emotional awareness, coping strategies, and common emotional experiences. Inside Out 2 entertained, educated, and inspired meaningful conversations among my crew and I hope you will give it a chance to do the same for yours!

The post Creating Space for All Emotions with Inside Out 2 first appeared on Encompass.